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Post by silygoosetaco on Sept 6, 2007 11:13:40 GMT -5
i think this was my worse work ever because it wasnt my style of poetry. but i still remember the harsh impact it had on the class. i was the very last one to present and why every one had a positive view, mine was not
talk about emo phase
NEVER MORE
let us go then you and i
to a time before our harsh goodbye
where my life waqs so perfect, because i thought i knew
that everything was complete once i had you
so let me remind you on what we once had
because it's gone forever and its not coming back
the moment i saw you, my breath was taken away
because ur beauty and smile stuns me, even to this day
but your beauty wasnt the most of it, like i always say
your spirit and personality helped me find my way
to a perfect like i always dreamed of
or at least it could of...
it all changed when you broke my heart
forcing me back from the very start
being just freinds and ignoring what we done
was like the real pain in my life had just begun
to realize to u there's nothin you care
about me and you or everything we'd shared
because you want some one else and not me any more
leving my heart emotionally weak and sore
now i have to be like you, just ignore
and accept me and you are never more
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Post by luvaluva on Sept 6, 2007 20:38:26 GMT -5
[glow=black,2,300]sounds like hella other dozen love poems out there, nothing special about it, needs alot of more work. It was BLAH to me.....[/glow]
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Post by silygoosetaco on Sept 7, 2007 0:00:41 GMT -5
i know it sucked to me too it was for english and i didnt like it cuz this type of poetry wasnt my style i wasnt use to it
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Post by Frankenstein Heart on Sept 7, 2007 16:31:30 GMT -5
I hates poetry. What's up with the "Nevermore" crap...?
Poe is rolling over in his grave, ja?
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Post by silygoosetaco on Sept 7, 2007 19:40:26 GMT -5
ya it was for english it had something to do with poe's literature also had to be similar struture it was so hard i didnt like it
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ISighZ
Lvl. 5 S.O.B.
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Posts: 201
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Post by ISighZ on Sept 26, 2007 1:07:57 GMT -5
Oo i like it. The words... Yeah...
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Post by moonlightgranger on Nov 17, 2007 19:23:50 GMT -5
Okay, it was good, but you do need to improve. You had grammar mistakes, you need to capitalize things at the beginning of each line and put a comma at the end. Besides those three elements, it was pretty great!
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