Post by moonlightgranger on Nov 18, 2007 3:31:59 GMT -5
Well, this is pretty silly, but...
I went to this institution for the blind and we were putting together a magazine, I offered to write a couple of columns, so that I did. Sorry for the immaturity, and the childishness but please enjoy! Oh, I wrote this about one years ago, so the news is obviously not current. Please comment!
Dear _Magazine
Dear Readers,
If, you have any questions or comments for this magazine please submit it to your reporter moongazer We will answer them all. Contact us and give forth your questions and name!
Current News Report
This is your reporter Moongazer with important news. This week the scientists discovered a new disease in spinach known as E-Calli. There is prove of this. There is some people that have died in these past two weeks with many being sick, including children, and the markets has not been selling spinach. This Ruins the digestive system, and people just die. There is no found cure for this. The best thing to do about this is not to eat spinach. If you do eat it, make sure you boil it well before eating, and the virus or bacteria will die. This is the third week of the fall kick off of... The Disney park hopper tickets prices has went up to $83. J.K. Rowling has really declared that the seventh book will come out next summer, and that happens to be the same as the Fifth movie of Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling has also declare that Ginny’s full official name is Genirva.
Five ws
Who: members
What: programs
When: every Friday unless told by a staff member 3-00 to 5-30
Where: at the place
Why: to attend activities and most importantly to have fun
How: However you choose to get there
14 ways to annoy non-disney fans
1 sing It's a small world 100 times nonstop
2 talk for ten minutes straight about Disneyland
3 brag about being a big Disney fan, you know more then them, you know everything and brag about your annual pass if you have one.
4 sing I just can't wait to be king about a hundred times nonstop
5 talk about walt Disney for an hour and Rant about how bad people control Disneyland are today
6 Talk on and on about disneyland's history.
7 give a lecture of walt's life story
8When someone have one Disney fact wrong give them a several hour lecture telling why they are wrong and what's the correct facts
9 go on and on about the haunted Mansion
10 start talking about splash mountain and sing the song for a million times.
11 Everytime you talk about a parks or park keep switching their names.
12 call everyone by Haunted mansion names even yourself. Call yourself the ghost host
13 Describe your last trip to Disneyland blow by blow with a lot of details
14 every time a conversation strikes bring up another good ride
7 ways to annoy people
1 Tell them on their best homework that they did a bad job, got everything wrong, and got the worst handwriting you seen. Argue with them. End with why would I know I am not a teacher's aid.
2 Tell a black belt wrestler they did the worst job, and a beginner could do better.
3 Keep up a string of nonsense words.
4 repeat a word over and over again.
5 everytime you go somewhere tell them where you are going.
6 Occupy the phone line all day either you tell them every time who you are going to call or what site you are going to.
7 read and write aloud. Don't let anybody stop you.
18 ways to annoy people that don't care about grammar that much
1 correct their needs and wants
2 correct their gots in their essays
3 correct their cans and mays
4 correct their incomplete sentences
5 use big grammar words like clause, compound complex sentence, and compound subject/predicate
6 Run up to them, and say, "hey, aren't you a big English fan?" Then rant on "I bet you are. Oh did you know I am a big English fan too." If they start running away or not put an arm around their shoulder and say, "Did you know that there is this club for big English fans where they will teach you a lot of English stuff. Right! You want to Join! Uh-huh! Okay? I'll will tell them right away. You will be in it for sure! Okay?"
7 count and try to stop them from saying like um, and I guess
8 Tell them you know everything about English
9 correct their tentses, singular, and plurals
10 correct and make them pronounce their endings
11 make them read tentses you write on a paper of a certain word
12 correct every little thing in the esays
13 correct their easily and commonly confused words like too, two, or to.
14 stop and correct them from saying, you know, right, Okay, and got it
15 tell them to read their English textbook
16 Tell them to sound out everything they ask you how to spell
17 Tell them to spell everything that you suspect is spelled wrong
18 laugh everytime they spell something wrong and correct them
40 ways to annoy Non Harry Potter fans
1 Talk about Remus lupin for an hour
2 act like umbridge
3 everytime it's cold and dark at night scream, "Dementors are invading our world."
4 everytime there is a bad ordeal in the world scream, "it's Voldie (Voldemort) again
5 talk on and on about how sad it is for J. K. Rowling to kill people off
6 bring a wand with you everywhere and keep up a string of spells. When people get tired of your string of nonsense tell them you are doing spells, and if they complain you will jinx them.
7 every time someone said, "You know who," shiver
8 when you sit down and discuss news with someone tell them another dark person has arisen. When they insist for the name don't tell them. Keep up the you know who , he who we all fear his name, and we don't say his name. When you give in say lord Voldemort and shiver
9 Tell a parent/guardian the boogeyman has retired and lord Voldemort (shiver) has taken his position when thy ask who tell them again. If they say, "no, never that not true" Argue with them. If they tell you it's complete nonsense argue even more with them, and when they ask for prove tell to read the Harry Potter books
10 insist to someone that you are going to teach them something and then give them a stick, and have them hold it. Then tell them to wave it.
11 hid someones shiny watch and when they ask where it is tell them your niffler ate it. When They ask what a niffler is tell them with full description blow by blow. When they say "it's complete nonsense, and it's make believe." insist that isn't and it's real. When they say you are dumb, and stupid say that you are not and they are in fact stupid and dumb, because they won't step out of their little world
12 For a birthday present give them all six Harry Potter books plus the two add books and whatever other books people write about Harry Potter
13 when someone says Harry Potter is dumb get all offended and tell them they are.
14 everytime someone says, "abra kedebra say, "No is Avada kedvra, but it's a killing spell why are you using it."
15 everytime someone points a stick at you scream, "What the heck! Get that wand away from me. Point it somewhere else."
16 everytime someone follows your directions tell them they are under the imperious curse.
17 everytime the word magic is heard scream, "Nooooooooooooooo! That will never be heard in front of me
18 Talk like Tonks
19 talk like Ron
20 act like Dumbledore for a day
21 say "It's a humans mistake." Every time someone perform something wrong
22 Everytime they say something about electronic devices say it wrong and ask them what it is. Act like you found it interesting. Talk about how the magical world doesn't have it, and how cool it is.
23 everytime electricity is seen name it like Arthur Weasley would
24 Everytime you refer to the telephone say feletone
25 In history class pretend to correct the teacher and say, "We are reading Hogwarts a History." The proper book title she/he is talking about say it's wrong and utter nonsense
26 Act like Hermione the book worm for a day.
27 everytime someone gets sick or die from some kind of food like vegetables or meats tell people that what they ate was jinxed. Nothing is actually wrong
28 when you look at a picture be shocked and amazed that it doesn't move. Be shocked and say your pictures you see everyday moves
29 pretend all the wizard sweets are normal.
30 when somebody mentions the Harry Potter books Laugh and tell them they are stuff heads. Tell them Harry Potter is alive and no one has written a blow by blow biography of Harry's life. Also say no one could have, because you follow him around, and we did not write any.
31 when someone mentions J.K. Roling ask snappishly, "who?"
32 When people say, "I have a Harry Potter fanfiction you might like wag a finger in their face saying, "Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! How cruel can you be."
33 everytime you hear something mean say, "I am going to modify your memory with a memory charm."
34 everytime someone say something make a reference to Harry Potter
35 always remind someone who they are most like
36 sing Hogwarts Hogwarts, and the Slytherin version of Weasley is our king a lot.
37 chant all the spells nonstop, and don't let anyone stop you
38 recite a Harry Potter book preferablly Order Of Pheonix, because it's the Longest, and do not stop
39 when you see a man who has a lot of hair on their arms and legs run away screaming, "you are a werewolf
40 when someone mentions snape by saying "that hook nose dude." You say, "it's snape the greasy ones. His name is severus Snape, but just call him snivellus that is what we call him."
I went to this institution for the blind and we were putting together a magazine, I offered to write a couple of columns, so that I did. Sorry for the immaturity, and the childishness but please enjoy! Oh, I wrote this about one years ago, so the news is obviously not current. Please comment!
Dear _Magazine
Dear Readers,
If, you have any questions or comments for this magazine please submit it to your reporter moongazer We will answer them all. Contact us and give forth your questions and name!
Current News Report
This is your reporter Moongazer with important news. This week the scientists discovered a new disease in spinach known as E-Calli. There is prove of this. There is some people that have died in these past two weeks with many being sick, including children, and the markets has not been selling spinach. This Ruins the digestive system, and people just die. There is no found cure for this. The best thing to do about this is not to eat spinach. If you do eat it, make sure you boil it well before eating, and the virus or bacteria will die. This is the third week of the fall kick off of... The Disney park hopper tickets prices has went up to $83. J.K. Rowling has really declared that the seventh book will come out next summer, and that happens to be the same as the Fifth movie of Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling has also declare that Ginny’s full official name is Genirva.
Five ws
Who: members
What: programs
When: every Friday unless told by a staff member 3-00 to 5-30
Where: at the place
Why: to attend activities and most importantly to have fun
How: However you choose to get there
14 ways to annoy non-disney fans
1 sing It's a small world 100 times nonstop
2 talk for ten minutes straight about Disneyland
3 brag about being a big Disney fan, you know more then them, you know everything and brag about your annual pass if you have one.
4 sing I just can't wait to be king about a hundred times nonstop
5 talk about walt Disney for an hour and Rant about how bad people control Disneyland are today
6 Talk on and on about disneyland's history.
7 give a lecture of walt's life story
8When someone have one Disney fact wrong give them a several hour lecture telling why they are wrong and what's the correct facts
9 go on and on about the haunted Mansion
10 start talking about splash mountain and sing the song for a million times.
11 Everytime you talk about a parks or park keep switching their names.
12 call everyone by Haunted mansion names even yourself. Call yourself the ghost host
13 Describe your last trip to Disneyland blow by blow with a lot of details
14 every time a conversation strikes bring up another good ride
7 ways to annoy people
1 Tell them on their best homework that they did a bad job, got everything wrong, and got the worst handwriting you seen. Argue with them. End with why would I know I am not a teacher's aid.
2 Tell a black belt wrestler they did the worst job, and a beginner could do better.
3 Keep up a string of nonsense words.
4 repeat a word over and over again.
5 everytime you go somewhere tell them where you are going.
6 Occupy the phone line all day either you tell them every time who you are going to call or what site you are going to.
7 read and write aloud. Don't let anybody stop you.
18 ways to annoy people that don't care about grammar that much
1 correct their needs and wants
2 correct their gots in their essays
3 correct their cans and mays
4 correct their incomplete sentences
5 use big grammar words like clause, compound complex sentence, and compound subject/predicate
6 Run up to them, and say, "hey, aren't you a big English fan?" Then rant on "I bet you are. Oh did you know I am a big English fan too." If they start running away or not put an arm around their shoulder and say, "Did you know that there is this club for big English fans where they will teach you a lot of English stuff. Right! You want to Join! Uh-huh! Okay? I'll will tell them right away. You will be in it for sure! Okay?"
7 count and try to stop them from saying like um, and I guess
8 Tell them you know everything about English
9 correct their tentses, singular, and plurals
10 correct and make them pronounce their endings
11 make them read tentses you write on a paper of a certain word
12 correct every little thing in the esays
13 correct their easily and commonly confused words like too, two, or to.
14 stop and correct them from saying, you know, right, Okay, and got it
15 tell them to read their English textbook
16 Tell them to sound out everything they ask you how to spell
17 Tell them to spell everything that you suspect is spelled wrong
18 laugh everytime they spell something wrong and correct them
40 ways to annoy Non Harry Potter fans
1 Talk about Remus lupin for an hour
2 act like umbridge
3 everytime it's cold and dark at night scream, "Dementors are invading our world."
4 everytime there is a bad ordeal in the world scream, "it's Voldie (Voldemort) again
5 talk on and on about how sad it is for J. K. Rowling to kill people off
6 bring a wand with you everywhere and keep up a string of spells. When people get tired of your string of nonsense tell them you are doing spells, and if they complain you will jinx them.
7 every time someone said, "You know who," shiver
8 when you sit down and discuss news with someone tell them another dark person has arisen. When they insist for the name don't tell them. Keep up the you know who , he who we all fear his name, and we don't say his name. When you give in say lord Voldemort and shiver
9 Tell a parent/guardian the boogeyman has retired and lord Voldemort (shiver) has taken his position when thy ask who tell them again. If they say, "no, never that not true" Argue with them. If they tell you it's complete nonsense argue even more with them, and when they ask for prove tell to read the Harry Potter books
10 insist to someone that you are going to teach them something and then give them a stick, and have them hold it. Then tell them to wave it.
11 hid someones shiny watch and when they ask where it is tell them your niffler ate it. When They ask what a niffler is tell them with full description blow by blow. When they say "it's complete nonsense, and it's make believe." insist that isn't and it's real. When they say you are dumb, and stupid say that you are not and they are in fact stupid and dumb, because they won't step out of their little world
12 For a birthday present give them all six Harry Potter books plus the two add books and whatever other books people write about Harry Potter
13 when someone says Harry Potter is dumb get all offended and tell them they are.
14 everytime someone says, "abra kedebra say, "No is Avada kedvra, but it's a killing spell why are you using it."
15 everytime someone points a stick at you scream, "What the heck! Get that wand away from me. Point it somewhere else."
16 everytime someone follows your directions tell them they are under the imperious curse.
17 everytime the word magic is heard scream, "Nooooooooooooooo! That will never be heard in front of me
18 Talk like Tonks
19 talk like Ron
20 act like Dumbledore for a day
21 say "It's a humans mistake." Every time someone perform something wrong
22 Everytime they say something about electronic devices say it wrong and ask them what it is. Act like you found it interesting. Talk about how the magical world doesn't have it, and how cool it is.
23 everytime electricity is seen name it like Arthur Weasley would
24 Everytime you refer to the telephone say feletone
25 In history class pretend to correct the teacher and say, "We are reading Hogwarts a History." The proper book title she/he is talking about say it's wrong and utter nonsense
26 Act like Hermione the book worm for a day.
27 everytime someone gets sick or die from some kind of food like vegetables or meats tell people that what they ate was jinxed. Nothing is actually wrong
28 when you look at a picture be shocked and amazed that it doesn't move. Be shocked and say your pictures you see everyday moves
29 pretend all the wizard sweets are normal.
30 when somebody mentions the Harry Potter books Laugh and tell them they are stuff heads. Tell them Harry Potter is alive and no one has written a blow by blow biography of Harry's life. Also say no one could have, because you follow him around, and we did not write any.
31 when someone mentions J.K. Roling ask snappishly, "who?"
32 When people say, "I have a Harry Potter fanfiction you might like wag a finger in their face saying, "Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! How cruel can you be."
33 everytime you hear something mean say, "I am going to modify your memory with a memory charm."
34 everytime someone say something make a reference to Harry Potter
35 always remind someone who they are most like
36 sing Hogwarts Hogwarts, and the Slytherin version of Weasley is our king a lot.
37 chant all the spells nonstop, and don't let anyone stop you
38 recite a Harry Potter book preferablly Order Of Pheonix, because it's the Longest, and do not stop
39 when you see a man who has a lot of hair on their arms and legs run away screaming, "you are a werewolf
40 when someone mentions snape by saying "that hook nose dude." You say, "it's snape the greasy ones. His name is severus Snape, but just call him snivellus that is what we call him."