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Post by {{Lobotomy Pop}} on Sept 25, 2008 6:45:42 GMT -5
Death comes to all of us in the end. There's no way of getting out of it. There may not be much choice in how it happens, but there are ways to avoid the most embarrassing and unnecessary deaths that plague modern civilization. Death by stupidity is an avoidable demise. A little common sense and a few good choices can ensure whatever the final performance entails; it will not end up in a late night comedy sketch or on the front of the local newspaper. Below are just a few ways to avoid death by stupidity.
~***~
Step 1) Learn how to drive properly. Talking on your cell phone, not wearing a seatbelt, and drinking and driving are not in the official driver's manual. Not using your common sense when driving the equivalent of a ticking time bomb is a stupid way to die.
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Post by {{Lobotomy Pop}} on Sept 25, 2008 6:46:10 GMT -5
Step 2) Observe signs and symbols. "High voltage" "hazardous waste" and "do not feed the lions" are signs that should be heeded by everybody all of the time. Dying under a sign that says "warning danger of death" is not only stupid, it's embarrassing.
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Post by {{Lobotomy Pop}} on Sept 25, 2008 6:45:49 GMT -5
Step 3) Show a healthy respect for Mother Nature. Wild animals and extreme weather hold a higher place on the planet's hierarchy than humans. Antagonizing a bear with a chocolate chip cookie or ballet dancing on the beach during a tsunami is a stupid way to die.
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Post by {{Lobotomy Pop}} on Sept 25, 2008 6:46:39 GMT -5
Step 4) Listen to those who seem crazy. If some wild looking person runs past you screaming "bomb" "gun" "they're coming" or simply "run," you should probably take their advice and head in the same direction. If you see a large group of animals running together frantically out of the forest or across an intersection in the middle of morning rush hour, you should probably follow them as well.
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Post by {{Lobotomy Pop}} on Sept 25, 2008 6:46:50 GMT -5
Step 5) Realize that eating a healthy diet and getting regular exercise is not a suggestion or a fashion trend. Smoking, drinking too much alcohol, and living on a diet of fatty greasy foods has only one outcome. Having your bloated corpse discovered half way through the consumption of your 14th doughnut of the morning is a stupid way to die.
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Post by {{Lobotomy Pop}} on Sept 25, 2008 6:47:41 GMT -5
Step 6) Look where you are going and remember that if it looks like it will break, it probably will. "I think it will hold me" is your first indication that crossing that rickety bridge on your hiking trip in the middle of nowhere is not a good idea. Always knowing what's beneath your feet is a simple yet practical way to maintain your oxygen intake.
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Post by {{Lobotomy Pop}} on Sept 25, 2008 6:47:53 GMT -5
Step 7) Understand that really, there are no stupid people. There are just stupid decisions. Dying because you couldn't be bothered to read an article that explained how to avoid death from stupidity is a pretty stupid way to die.
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Post by FireMonkey on Sept 26, 2008 11:43:28 GMT -5
Step 9) Learn to count. How can you go from 1 to 3 then back to 2?
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Post by Frankenstein Heart on Sept 26, 2008 17:24:13 GMT -5
That was going to be my question.
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Post by k on Sept 28, 2008 19:03:59 GMT -5
Step 10) Dont 4gets to number ur steps
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Post by {{Lobotomy Pop}} on Sept 29, 2008 6:49:11 GMT -5
OOPSIE POOPSIE.
I postedz it all wierdz.
MAH BAD. xD
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Post by k on Oct 7, 2008 20:39:52 GMT -5
Step 11) Always follow step 10
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Post by tacomansupreme on Nov 4, 2008 18:54:53 GMT -5
Step 12) Don't forget to use a condom!!
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